How Can We Help Each Other, When We Both Need Help?
I've been working on a relationship template I want to use when I do a couple's analysis to help structure my work and readings. I used charts I had already analyzed and I noticed something. Typically, if you see a Moon conjunct or trine Moon in a chart, you might think this is great! Their emotional needs are similar. However, there may be more to the story, as it always is.
I noticed there was a Moon trine Moon between two charts and I wondered why their temperaments or emotional reactions were so different. Their Moons complimented each other, so why were things so difficult? Well amongst other things, both of their Moons were afflicted. How could one be a support for the other if the other had complexes he was projecting as well?
He had Sun and Venus square his Moon and she had Moon square Saturn and Pluto. These were both internal conflicts within themselves. But when buttons were pushed they resorted to their Moon afflictions and neither one could talk the other off the ledge because their insecurities were now coming to the surface and neither could nurture the other. Her need for commitment or structured relationship jeopardized his need for independence or a casual fun (he has Sun and Venus square Uranus and Moon is widely opposed Uranus). When she pushed for something more, he pulled away. He would say he wanted a relationship and marriage someday but not right now. Her needs would awaken his own inner conflict between want he need (Moon), what he's striving for in life (Sun) or what he wants/values (Venus). These are things he constantly battles within himself.
When she would try to go with the flow and be casual, it would awaken her insecurities of not being good enough. She would think why can't he change for me? Classic Moon square Saturn to choose people who CANNOT meet the person's needs then wonder why the person WILL NOT work to meet their needs-rejection. It would then turn into a power struggle. Then she would cut her emotions off and cut him off. It would just reiterate all that he feels is wrong with women and her feelings of being rejected. This just became a cycle and unfortunately, there were no other aspects to their Moons to help buffer this.
This is a slightly different example, but it will give some idea how our challenging patterns in our charts affect each other. When looking at Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston's charts, they have the classic Sun/Moon conjunction. They say this is the marriage aspect of all aspects. So why did they split? What happened? Well, there may be several reasons but I noticed Brad's Sun is unaspected. There is a wide sextile to Saturn but it's too wide for me to count. This is important because he doesn't have any help with other planets in his own chart to direct or anchor his Sun. So it runs wild as if it is out of bounds. So if another person's planets touches it, it will have a tremendous impact on it. Well Anniston's Moon touched it. There was immediate attraction and recognition that this was something serious. But Anniston has Moon square Pluto. That is super intense, specially for a Sag Sun. Eventually his Sag Sun would try to run or get some air/space but her Moon/Pluto would squeeze tighter. Her challenging Moon/Pluto aspect could have brought out the negative qualities of Sag. This is just a thought. I can't absolutely know unless I spoke with him but it's highly likely that this relationship was more intense or too structured than what he wanted at that time (although he does have Capricorn energy which wants commitment but that's different being consumed). This could also have had an impact the other way around. Brad's wild Sun could have brought up Anniston's Moon/Pluto issues. I guess it did right? Moon/Pluto can be about abandonment/loss/rejection. She could have felt all these things when he left or even throughout the relationship.
Of course, you can look at other aspects in the charts to see where they can get help but if there is nothing else or if the chart shows more aggressive aspects or conflicts, this will be hard to work through. When there are challenging patterns in your or someone else's chart, you want to look for planets that will nurture it, not aggravate it. So just remember not to just look at aspects between two planets in two people's chart. You have to take into consideration the aspects of each planet and what affect it will have on the other person.
Love and Light,